Credit Card Rewards

Credit Card Reward Gifts are a grown-up's version of the shitty prizes you can win after getting 20,000 tickets at an arcade at the boardwalk. It is the same basic premise as when you were a kid. You can't believe they have an entire eatery set for 8,000 tickets until you get it home and realize KitchenAid isn't spelled with two N's, half the plates are cracked in no less than three pieces, and the odd smell which seems to have perfumed your entire room is emanating from the smokey gloss which coats everything you are suppose to eat off. The difference is instead of spending $100 on skeeball, to get enough tickets, to buy a spider ring; you're spending $5,000 on a ring, to get a gift card, to play skeeball.

The worst part is 98% of the crap they have on Credit Card Reward Websites are rated 3 Stars or below on Amazon! I know I speak for most people when I say that most of my views on life, personal and political alike, come from the comments section on the world's prime online shopping site. And it's a flawed logic! When comparing two products, if one has a 5 rating with three reviews and the other has a 4.3 with two hundred and seventeen lots of people would go with the 4.3 rated product; but my brain doesn't work like that.

I start to think about the 1/8 of the people that did not have a good experience with the product. What's wrong with it? Does it not warm-up quick enough? Is it lacking in the horsepower department? Can it keep vegetables crisp? There is something inherently wrong with this product which is making these people not 100% satisfied with their purchase; and that bugs me.

The other product, however, is infallible in the eyes of the Amazon Gods. It has a rating of 5. In the eyes of the consumer this is quintessentially perfect. The people that bought this product found themselves in cloud of elation which preoccupied their lives and made them unable to even write an additional positive review. Perhaps they felt it would be a sign of disrespect to the producers of this miraculous product to rate it merely a 5! If only Amazon had a reclassification option which allowed the products deemed worthy to be likened to the Greek Gods of their ability. Sadly, that wouldn't work. You can't change history; you can't rename Gods.

So now I'm stuck choosing between a four-cup rice cooker or a heavy-duty bench grinder. I don't need either, but it beats a lousy Chinese finger trap.