Being Employed

I got a new job!

It's kind of a "real" job. It has potential to be, I should say. At this moment, I am not going to crack open the bottle of whiskey that shares a birthday with me in celebration but at least it gets me out of the house and collecting a regular paycheck. But I had to start the week after daylight savings, the suckiest week to ever start anything. And with a job, they expect you to go in, like, everyday, like, pretty early in the morning.

What could this glorious of glory job be, you ask? I scan documents all day. On my second day I counted how many I accomplished. That day, 414. The next, 508. And then today, I clocked in a whopping 510! This whole week I've done nothing but scan documents, but at least I'm good at it. The irritating part is the gorilla they trained to do the same job is good at it too. And he smokes.

Scanning documents is a lot like making copies, except at the end of the day, you don't get the reward of actually having copies.

Today while going through some of those 510 documents, I came across a name that caught my attention. The page read "Alan Bagelsmith, Architect." And for some reason this threw me off, because there are some names out there that tie you into certain career opportunities. I'm just saying, if your name is Bagelsmith and your occupation does not have anything to do with the production and selling of bagels then you have severely missed your calling.

If your name is Mike Pimpinbitches, I'm sorry, but being a doctor is not in the cards for you.