At the end of the articles I used to put all the thoughts which came to me that I didn't feel like developing into quick one-liners. These thoughts came to be called "Acts of Randomness," so now I'm going to kick it old school to get rid of some of the ideas that have been populating my head lately.
Acts of Randomness: Old School
- The only time I would want a heated toilet seat would be if I lived alone. Though, even then every time I went to drop a deuce I'd be paranoid of intruders lurking in the shadows feeling light and refreshed.
- One of my goals is to be a late night talk show host. I would even work for free as long as I got to play with exotic baby animals at least once a week. That's actually the only reason I want the gig.
- My stock of post-it notes is running low. In college, I had pads upon pads which held one idea each, and now I have three of various color that are so full I've had to start writing in the sticky part. They really were the best four years of my life.
- Opening a Capri Sun is just as hard now as it was when I was a kid. If offered, I will politely decline any invitation to one because of the embarrassment.
- I find Girl Scout Cookie preference to be one of the sexiest things about a woman. Find me a girl with a matched love for somoas, and I will show you the girl I'm going to marry... then end up in an ultimately violent custody battle with.
- Ending a sentence in a preposition is a grammar no-no, but sentence structure is the death of me when it comes to writing. The real death of me will come around in 2024 after the Heimlich maneuver is dubbed inhumane and I choke on a hot dog after throwing away a bunch of random crap shoved in a box together that remarkably was beautiful if you didn't try to figure out every individual piece; irony.
- February and March are named for tolerance, so I feel its important to refer to the great strides this country has made amongst the differences we all have. I am proud to call anyone my friend regardless of their race, sex, or political affiliation... unless you have an outie.
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3 comments:
tagalongs are way better than somoas and you know it! my problem is i cant stop eating them.....
laura
can we focus on the fact that they're not even called somoas anymore? a true girl scout cookie lover would know the new much less creative "caramel delight"...
but, I agree La, you can't eat just one, or 10 : )
Pam
In regards to ending a sentence in a preposition: I fully agree with this statement, however it was recently brought to my attention that the sentence "What are you looking at?" doesn't seem to have an alternative. Thoughts?
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