Taking a Personal Holiday

Its Elvis's birthday!

This begs the question; how famous do you have to be for people to celebrate your birthday after you die? And not out of guilt because you were pushing the hot dog cart at Six Flags that you lost control of and sent careening down the hill towards the guys in the Bugs Bunny suit, which happened to be your friend Paul. But to have such a following that people consider your birthday a personal holiday. Having that kind of power post-humorously, I could not even begin to drool over what I could wield while alive or I may drown and it'd be all for naught.

I would make a great famous person. Sure, I don't exactly like meeting new people and having to be nice to others is something I have religious beliefs against, but I am not opposed to the public loving me. In fact, I am even okay with a few people not loving me, because love is not a strong enough word to describe what they would feel towards me; so we'll put them in the 'worship as their one true god' category. Eventually, these odd collection of folk will be the main source of Me news. They will be blogging about my day to day activities not excluding; lunch time deli decisions, trips to the zoo, latest purchases at Target, my ongoing feud with actor Elijah Wood, teasing the monkeys with false promises of freedom, blogging about my blogging about my hatred for the word blog, and being a semi-professional Scrabbler.

But no matter how famous I get, this will always be the OFFICIAL source of Me News. You cannot trust what you may hear, no matter how credible it may seem. These rumors can be make it very hard to determine truth from fiction so I would like to dispel some rumors now so they do not interfere with my fame.
1) The alleged affair between myself and Jeanette Miller (former girlfriend of Simon Seville) did not have anything to do with the demise of the band.
2) I was not the individual who started the disturbance in the Las Vegas strip club "Zee Zee's," Elijah Wood threw the first punch.
3)I have successfully completed my court-ordered stint at rehab and have not fallen back into any bad gambling habits, you can put money on that.
4) Any photos leaked from my cell phone would only have included many photos of my cat in various stages of sleep and close friends complaining they did not want their picture take at that time even though they're dressed to go out, I mean come on, you look fine, now smile!

I think I am well prepared for my awesomeness to come to fruition.