Signing Your Love Away

My signature is pretty awesome.

The two D's in my first name compliment each other well and give a definite beginning and ending to its structure. And my last name is a masterpiece. Not many people have two capitol letters to play with. I get to hit you with the big M and then the calm comes over the crowd until the P comes up out of nowhere and smacks your baby sister across the face! My name is so much fun to sign that when meeting new women at bars I point out the joy they would have signing things when we get married. Hell, I wasn't popular in high school but girls still used to write Mrs. David MacPherson on their notebooks because of how fun it was.

I don't know sign language, but I'm going to take a guess my name is twice as fun then.

I'm not saying I would have to convince a girl to marry me, but having something to bring to the table besides "whole and unconditional love" is a strong move. The world's getting over-populated, so its only a matter of time until they put spawning regulations in place and if you want to be sure to get in on that before being chemically neutered by the government you best start thinking of things that makes your special love a little more special.

For me, my last name brings along with it a long history of Scottish lore, a color scheme for any occasion, and a castle I will reclaim in the name of my ancestors though legal or pillaging channels. Your last name probably isn't anything unique, so you are going to have to fall back on something else. Maybe your family owns livestock you can give to your girlfriend's family in exchange for her hand in marriage. It may seemed old fashion but unlike many other transactions, inflation has not adversely effected exchange rates. The typical marriage aged female is equal to 10 chickens, 3 1/2 sheep, or one cow, since both are used for milking and breeding purposes.

Looking deep into yourself is the only way to grasp a hold onto that magnificent item to separate you from the pack. Whether it be promises of a better life, a pack of elfin slaves, or ingesting unsafe levels of hallucinogens to explore the ever-expanding world of pure imagination, hopefully you'll be able to find your own golden ticket and she'll let you in the backdoor to explore the chocolate factory.