The other day I looked in my wallet and I had $27 dollars.
It was not as easy as simply having a $20 dollar bill, a $5, and two $1's. I had another mixture of bills which eventually lead me to $27. Now this normally would not be anything but an afterthought. I was not planning on spending $27 on any particular item. There was not a prized $27 possession I have recently pawned in order to keep any "slightly expensive to a middle schooler" habit I have acquired over the last few months. And I was not $27 dollars short on the ransom sent to me so I would stop getting fingers of a loved one in the mail. This $27 was special because I thought I only had $8.
There's a large difference between 8 and 27. Having more is always thought to be better. For instance, if I have 8 friends we could play 4-on-4 football with an automatic quarterback, but with 27 friends I could have a full game and exclude people! Or when getting in a scuffle at the Elementary School wouldn't you rather have a posse of 27 instead of 8. I mean, if an internet test says I could take out twenty-four fifth graders before being overrun, imagine the mountains of unconscious 10-year-olds we would leave in our wake! They'd have to ship in 5th graders from other districts to quench our blood lust!
What about the other side of the coin? Having $8 in your pocket and getting stabbed over it while coming out of a shady liqueur store late at night is a much better news story than a guy holding $27. That kind of money can buy Monster Ballads I & II on iTunes, and if I'm stabbing someone outside of a liqueur store late at night, its to purchase MP3s legally through an internet music site.
Some questions are still up for debate. The choice between 8 and 27 cannot be distinguished by a clear consensus and has left a rift in this once peaceful community. Both sides have fair arguments so I leave it to the PBS standard and let "Viewers Like You" debate it out.
Your Question: Which is a more preferable amount of toes to have?
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2 comments:
this whole story just reminds me of the fact that whenever i tell a really bad story, my friends always make me add the line 'and then i found 5 dollars' because my endings for stories suck.
i actually did find 5 dollars today.
~Laura
ps. i promise i'll get better at this commenting thing
27 toes gets you on TV for life.
8 toes just means you'll fall over more.
This begs the REAL question any bi-curious male would be asking upon reading your thoughtful entry: what about dong size?
I'd have to go with 8, there. It's still quite an impressive, hulking member at that point...and what in the holy HELL would you do with 27 inches of man meat dangling around in there?
Seriously. This goes beyond being able to boast about gargantuan masculinity. We're in "serious medical condition" territory.
27-inch pythons are for Hulk Hogan's arms, only. Is all I'm saying.
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