The Soothing Power of Music

The cliche is that money cannot buy happiness. You see it everyday with rockstars like Dashboard Confessional who have more money than the Catholic Church but still manage to crank out album after album of songs full of messages about life doing them wrong and girl's destroying their hearts. Now either they are just following the equation that got them a record deal, Tight Shirt + Tears x The Amount of Money Wasted on That Anniversary Present You Bought Before Walking in on Her and Your Best Friend = Platinum Record, or life is hard when you have to choose which Porsche to drive to the servants quarters so Fredrico can go the store and pick up some more Mallowmars. Track #7: My Soul Is Empty (because you forgot to restock the pantry).

But that is what music is for; expressing our emotions so girls will not think we are complete pansies. Who do you think gets laid more; Chris Cornell, lead singer of Audioslave, or Josh Brugneil, college sophomore who performs poetry at his school's open mic night in the coffeeshop? Regardless if this guy is the reincarnation of Shel Silverstein or not (he's dead right?) most women shrug off poetry into a pile with guys that win chess tournaments, collect and stuff dead animals into a taxidermied army ready to invade at a moment's notice, or do comedy. Girls say they want the sensitive, smart, and funny guy; and they are not lying, they just prefer he played guitar, spoke in an Australian accent, and had to the power to get rid of spiders and any other creepy crawly thing with his mind as well.

The perfect person. The one being on the planet that you want to spend the rest of your life with. How many of you out there have found that perfect person? You love the way they eat their cereal in the morning, the way they dance while brushing their teeth before bed, and you love Muffins her cat gently greeting you when you walk in the door with a purr. But as with everything, time changes these things. After a little while, you wish she could get through one bowl without slurping so god damn much, hate every song by FallOutBoy especially when sung with a toothbrush in her mouth, and have drowned the cat in the bathtub to send her a message.

If only you had been in the band in highschool maybe you could have written a song to get all that pent up aggression out. Because music is not all about the girl that broke your heart, though have you ever noticed when you screw up with a girl the radio is your enemy? Think about the last fight you had with your significant other. Your day is shitty, you do not feel like eating, and every song that comes on your Ipod just exfoliates how much of a dick you are. I recently screwed up big time with a girl, and songs became horoscopes; even if they had nothing to do with my life at the moment I would interpret it in a way to make it apply. Its a sad day when Cotton Eye Joe can bring a guy to the brink of tears.

I know I messed up, and I do not need the Red Hot Chili Peppers making it worse with their funktastic melodies.